Metaphysical shops all over are installing condom machines dispensing
consecrated condoms. These condoms are blessed for use in various
activities and rites.
sampling of the different types are:
The Fertility Rite condom: Green, anointed with fertility oils,
and a pinhole is included. For use at Beltane orgies by people
who want to look PC but secretly want to get/make pregnant with
the child of the "King Stag".
The Anonymous God condom: Blessed to allow the wearer to remain
anonymous during the act. The recipient of the blessing will not
remember who it was, but will remember how good it was.
The Man in the Wood condom: Consecrated to allow the wearer to
maintain the act indefinitely. Immensely useful for those users
who have problems keeping the act going. Anointed with "Maintain"
The Jack "off" the Green condom: Blessed art those who
engage in the act with themselves. Can also be used by those who
enjoy the use of another's hands on" experience for their
The Trickster condom: Will it work, or won't it work? You won't
know 'til a few weeks later.
The Panpipe condom: Blessed with the ability to play 4 different
ethereal songs, depending upon the speed and force of each thrust.
The Satyr/Nymph condom: Sloppy seconds? No more! This condom has
been ritually blessed to allow the wearer to conduct in several
sessions; no muss no fuss, it's self-cleaning!
The Necromancer condom: For when it's necessary to raise the dead.
(Disclaimer: Not responsible for maggots, rotted flesh, or zombified
participants during use. Use at your own risk.)
© 2002 Jackie
May be reproduced as long as this notice remains intact.