High Priest:- (Lord Buffalo Wearsakilt)
High Priestess:- (Lady High Priestess Moon Goddess)
Ritual Celebrant 1:- (Caller for East), (Spirits ), (This Rabble),
(Keepers of the TOAKHID)
Ritual Celebrant 2:- (Caller for South), (That Rabble), (Clueless
Jane)
Ritual Celebrant 3:- (Caller for West ), (Other Other Spirits
), (Rabble Rouser), (Third Challenger)
Ritual Celebrant 4:- (Caller for North ), (Other Spirits), (The
Other Rabble), (Second Challenger)
Random Volunteer 1:- (Person who draws circle with sword)
Random Volunteer 2:- (Novice) Random Volunteer 3:- ("Tim")
Drawing of the Circle
Lord Buff will pick out a volunteer
before the ritual, who will draw the Circle before the invocations
begin. Lord Buff will start this off by doing a brief, quiet focusing
meditation in front of the circle, using his athame prominently.
Then he will ask for the circle drawing volunteer to come forward,
ask him/her if s/he is ready to draw the circle, and then, saying
'Here, use this," hand them a big honking broadsword to 'weave'
their way around the circle. The smaller and younger the volunteer,
who can hold the sword up even so, the better.
Cardinal Invocations
East:
Guardians of the Watchtowers of
the Powers of East, Element of Air,
Season of Spring, Hour of Dawn,
We invite thee, we invoke thee, we summon thee.
Bring to us the breath of bright ideas, the sweet zephyrs of inspiration,
The winds of intelligence, the storm fronts of epiphany. Be here
now!
South:
Guardians of the Watchtowers of
the Powers of South, Element of Fire,
Season of Summer, Hour of Noon,
We invite thee, we invoke thee, we summon thee.
Bring to us the flicker of inspiration, the BBQ lighter of commitment,
The bonfire of passion, the blast furnace of transformation. Be
here now!
West:
Guardians of the Watchtowers of
the Powers of West, Element of Water,
Season of Autumn, Hour of Evening,
We invite thee, we invoke thee, we summon thee.
Bring to us the dewdrops of understanding, the waves of wondering,
The rip currents of emotion, the torrents of renewal. Be here
now!
North:
Guardians of the Watchtowers of
the Powers of North, Element of Earth,
Season of Winter, Hour of Midnight,
We invite thee, we invoke thee, we summon thee.
Bring to us the seeds of change, the kudzu of organization, The
mighty bonsai of growth, the tectonic plates of stability. Be
here now!
Center:
Lord Buff: "Old Ones of the-"
Spirits: "Spirits!"
Lord Buff: <blink> "Old
Spirits of-"
Spirits: "We don't get old,
you know."
Lord Buff: "I beg your pardon?"
Spirits: "Well, you can't
age if you're immortal, now can you?"
Lord Buff: "I was just trying
to address you properly, with respe-"
Spirits: "And how would you
know the proper terms of address?"
Lord Buff: "Well, I am Lord
Buffalo Wearsakilt, 3rd Degree High Prie-"
Spirits: "And who made you
a High Priest, O Lord Baboon-on-stilts?"
Lord Buff: "Why none other
than Moondream Whalesong, who was initiated by Happy Fairy Corvidcanine,
who was initiated by the honorable Raymond Buckland, who was himself
initiated by none other than Gerald Gardner, who was initiated
by the indisputable Old Dorothy, herself a witch in an unbroken
tradition handed down from grandmother to second cousin since
the time of the Ice Age cave painters of Lascaux, France!"
Spirits: "You don't really
expect me to believe that, do you?! Religious and spiritual authority
isn't a simple matter of whom begat whom begat whom begat whom
begat whom. You have to be chosen by the Spirits-
Other Spirits: "Not that
everyone is chosen by the Spirits."
Other Other Spirits: "True,
but if you're chosen, then you've definitely been Chosen - if
you know what I mean."
Other Spirits: "Oh, yes,
no mistaking it. You're right there."
Other Other Spirits: "And
don't forget it takes a lot more than just being Chosen."
Other Spirits: "True, true.
<nodding head sagely> But if you're chosen, at least you're
know you're Chosen."
Spirits: <Very annoyed by now:>
"RIGHT! <turns back to Lord Buff> As my compatriots
here agree <eyes the various other spirits>, you have to
be chosen by the Spirits, not by some contrived rite of passage
cobbled together from Masonry, Malaysian customs, and the never-before-published
writings of Aleister Crowley!
Lord Buff: "Now just wait
a minu-"
Other Spirits: "Oh! And what
about this 'Be Here Now!' nonsense? Properly addressed, indeed!
If I told my great, great, great uncle, seven times removed, to
'Be Here Now!', he'd send me off to feed the hounds of Hades with
nothing but myself and an empty bowl. For that matter, who are
the 'Guardians of the Watchtowers' and where do you fi-"
Lord Buff: "Enough already!!"
<launches into invocation:> "Old Ones of the Earth
and Sky,"
Spirits: "Oh no, you don't!"
Lord Buff: "Ancestors of
all that crawls and runs and flies,"
Other Spirits: "Oh, now we're
'ancient', are we?"
Lord Buff: "Wise keepers
of the hidden lore,"
Other Other Spirits: "Well,
that's better."
Lord Buff: "We humbly invite
you to-"
Other Spirits: "Taken the
hint, I see."
Lord Buff: <scowls> ".to
join our circle and share your wisdom wi-"
Other Other Spirits: "Share
our wisdom? And what do we ge-"
Lord Buff: "In exchange for
our heartfelt thanks and this precious token of our appreciation."
<takes goblet of mead from altar, gives to spirit>
Spirits: "O! Well, then!"
<smacks lips> "I see you do know the proper terms of
address, after all. Carry on, then. I'll just, um, take this back
to share with the fellas, eh?"
Lord Buff: <turns back to center,
mutters:> "Now where was I?" <and makes great
show of thumbing through the script>
Deity Invocations
Lady Moon: (Hathor) Het-Hert,
known as Hathor, Lady of drunkenness, music, dance, Of frankincense
and the crown, we call your name in love! We ask you to thrust
back darkness and make merry with us. May you help us find wisdom
thru laughter, And take your fill of joy in our sport.
Lord Buff: (Bes) O Bes,
mid-wife's aid and children's protector, Great Dwarf of dance
and drums and merriment, We bid you welcome and ask that you Ward
our circle and inspire us with your music. May you delight in
our hospitality and find pleasure in our revels.
Circle Casting
Lady Moon: <ad-libbed the-circle-is-cast-so-mote-it-be
type of thing>
Spiel About Lughnasadh
Lady Moon: <reads from the
Witch's Bible about Lughnasadh>
<Meanwhile, whispering starts
around the circle, as folks look for a Novice, who is duly found
and announced, as below. The 'Circle' in this case are the ritual
celebrants who did the first four Cardinal Invocations. While
they were wearing funky hats representing their element and a
sign saying their direction's name, now they have removed the
hats and turned the signs around to display something different
- such as 'Visitor', 'CTC Member', 'CTC Member's Friends and Relations',
'Stranger Passing By', 'I heard there was food.'>
Rabble Rouser: <whispering>
"Is there a novice here? Does anyone know if someone here
is a novice?"
Rabble Mob: <This Rabble, That
Rabble, and The Other Rabble all start whispering, looking for
a novice>
This Rabble: <still whispering>
"Here's one! Here's a novice!"
Rabble Rouser: <no longer whispering>
"A Novice!"
That Rabble: <beginning to
yell> "Yes, a novice!"
The Other Rabble: "A Novice!
A Novice!"
Rabble Rouser: "We have found
a Novice! We must initiate her/him!"
That Rabble: "Yes, initiate
her/him!"
The Other Rabble: "Initiate
her/him!"
Lady Moon: <makes calming motions>
"How do you know s/he is a Novice?"
Rabble Rouser: "'Cause s/he
acts like one!"
That Rabble: "Yes, s/he acts
like one!"
This Rabble: "Initiate her/him!"
Lady Moon: "And just what
do Novices act like?"
Rabble Rouser: "They ask
lots of questions!"
The Other Rabble: "They don't
talk very much!"
That Rabble: "They buy books
published by Llewelyn!"
This Rabble: "They dress
in black and wear silver jewelry!"
Lady Moon: "Don't experienced
pagans also dress in black, wear silver jewelry, and buy books
by Llewelyn?"
Rabble Rouser: "Uh. Oh. Right."
Lady Moon: "Do you know how
to initiate someone?"
Rabble Rouser: "Tie her/him
up!"
That Rabble: "Hold a sword
to her/his neck!"
This Rabble: "Make her/him
swear an oath!"
The Other Rabble: "Shove
her/him into a gingerbread oven!"
Lord Buff: "No! No! And,
no! You initiate someone by showing them how to be a true, bona
fide, genuine, and verified Pagan. You give them the tools of
their craft, challenge them to surpass their limitations, and.
and. um. and send them on their merry way! <smiles with beatific
stupidity>"
Rabble Rouser: "Wait a minute!
How do you if you're a true, bonfired, genuflected, and ratified
Pagan?"
The Other Rabble: "I haven't
surpassed my limitations."
That Rabble: "And I haven't
been given any tools."
This Rabble: "I'm not a real
Pagan!"
The Other Rabble: "I need
to be initiated, too!"
This Rabble: "Me, too, please!"
That Rabble: "Oh, yes, I
want to be initiated!"
This Rabble: "Make me into
a real Pagan, pleeeaaaasssseeeeee?!"
That Rabble: "Don't forget
me!"
Lord Buff: "Oh, very well.
Come this way, everyone!"
Beginning of Initiation
<Before the challenges, participants
will be given three wooden tokens (poured out of a Lucky Charms
box into three large cereal bowls, to be distributed with large
spoons), to use when they must offer something to the Challenger.
Each time a token is given, the Challenger will put it into a
bag. Then, at the end of their challenge, they hand the bag to
the next Challenger. At the end of the ritual, the tokens can
be burned.>
<Challengers will issue their
questions to the group of participants as a whole. Individual
participants may then come forward and make their offering/answer
to the Challenger. The Challenger, however, has the right to refuse
the offering/answer and send the person back to come up with something
better. This affords the ritual celebrants the opportunity to
go up and make outlandish/hilarious/off-topic offerings/answers
- and thus, by example, offers the participants the opportunity
to do the same. Of course, the Challenger could accept a silly
offering/answer, thus holding the person to their word. ;-) >
First Challenger
<HP and Lord Buff lead Circle
into the woods, to the First Challenger. Note: the Keepers of
the TOAKHID are the same ritual celebrants as the 'Circle', above,
but led by one in particular.>
Keepers of the TOAKHID: "The
Goddess is Alive! And Magick is Afoot! The Goddess is Alive! And
Magick is Afoot!"
<Ritual celebrants cringe in
fear and horror>
Lord Buff: "Who are you,
that you confront us like a Trickster, challenging our assumptions
and piercing our comfortable, mundane existence?"
Keepers of the TOAKHID: "We
are the Keepers of the Tome of Arcane Knowledge Hidden in Darkness!
Wielders of the Sacred Phrases 'Merry Meet', 'Merry Part ', and
'So mote it be'!"
Lord Buff: "O Keepers of
the Tome of. <pause> O Keepers of the Book, we seek your
wisdom and guidance upon the Pagan path, and would be honored
if you grant us but a glance within your Tome."
Keepers of the TOAKHID: "Those
who would look upon the one and only Tome and who would speak
the sacred phrases must surrender to us a sacrifice!"
Lord Buff: "O Keepers of
the Sacred Text, what must we surrender?"
Keepers of the TOAKHID: <eyes
Circle dramatically> "What will you give up in exchange
for the power of knowledge?! Name to us this sacrifice and with
your words, let your first charm be taken from you and given up
as a sign of your commitment."
< Ritual celebrants start the
answering, and the Keepers accept the offerings. If any silly
offerings are made, the Keeper has the discretion to accept or
refuse - if refused, a participant must return with a more appropriate
sacrifice. Once all sacrifices have been offered and accepted,
the HPs will begin leading the Circle past the Keepers and on
into processing around towards the next Challenger. As each participant
passes, the Challenger hands them a copy of 'Yore Verye Owne One
und Onley Olden Tome of Arkane Gnowleje Hidden in Darkenesse'>
Interlude
< During Tim's performance,
Clueless Jane, wearing a 'Clueless Jane' sign now, begins interjecting
and commenting on the ritual - including answering her cell phone,
which will be called by a cell phone concealed by another celebrant.>
Tim: "HALT! Go no further unless you be Pagan peoples of
true heart and soul!" <eyes the Circle piercingly>
Lady Moon: "And who art thou
to bar our path and question our intent?"
Tim: "It is not I who bars
your path or questions your resolve. No, it is not I at all. <eyes
Circle again> There are those who know me as. Tim."
Lady Moon: "I ask you again,
O Tim, why do you block our pa-"
Tim: "Beware the Enemy Within!
Each and every one of you carries the seeds of your own discontent,
your own shortsightedness, your own unease, your own failure!
Verily! Your worst enemy is yourself! Pass me if you dare, for
doubt, discomfort, and drivel await you all with ignorant, pointless
interjections!"
<Tim withdraws to the side. Circle proceeds past him.>
Second Challenger
<As the Circle proceeds, Clueless
Jane - who is the type of ritual attendee who really shouldn't
be at ritual, has no tact, and is oblivious to proper ritual conduct
- begins whispering (loudly) questions about what is going on,
why is it taking so long, my feet hurt, who is that speaking,
etc. She continues in this vein right to the Second Challenger,
quiets down at first, and then starts up again, interrupting the
challenge.>
<The Second Challenger stands,
awaiting the Circle, and is addressed by the Keepers of the TOAKHID,
who came with the Circle>
Keepers of the TOAKHID: "O
Sister Keeper, I bring to you seekers upon the true path, who
have made great sacrifice that they might receive wisdom from
us and peek within the Tome of Arcane Knowledge Hidden in Darkness.
Yet, knowledge alone is not enou-"
Clueless Jane: <interrupts
with another loud whisper>
Keepers of the TOAKHID: <glares
at Clueless Jane, turns back to Second Challenger> "Knowledge
alone is not enough. What else do these humble folk need?"
Second Challenger: "The mind
may be misled by too much knowledge. The heart may be troubled
by fear and doubt, by cell phones and dinner plans, by day planners
and stock market forecasts, by email and snail mail, by-"
Clueless Jane: <interrupts
with yet another complaint>
Second Challenger: <faces Clueless
Jane> "What troubles you, child? Are you not at ease among
your fellow seekers? Do you seek excuses and distractions to avoid
the work of becoming a true Pagan?"
Clueless Jane: <looks wide-eyed
and speechless>
Second Chllenger: "Sister
Keeper, consult the Tome of Arcane Knowledge Hidden in Darkness."
Keepers of the TOAKHID: "Tome
of Arcane Knowledge Hidden in Darkness, Chapter 9, Exercise 55:
Smaller Expulsion Ceremony and How to Find the Center of Your
Spiritual Tootsie Pop, page 178, paragraph 1, second phrase: 'You
are in your safe space - a place in which you are in touch with
your inner power. Now turn & face the East. Attend to what
you see & hear & feel & sense. Pause. Now turn &
face the South. Attend to what you see & hear & feel &
sense. Pause...'"
Second Challenger: "Skip
ahead, please, Sister."
Keepers of the TOAKHID: "'Take
your bell and ring it once, like so (see diagram 81). Now listen
to the bell. Feel the sound of the bell as it fades into silence.
Pause. Take a deep breath. Pause. Inhale. Pause. Exhale. Pause.
You are now ready to begin your working.'"
Second Challenger: "Thank
you, Sister. Remember this simple meditation and ponder its power
as you meet your second challenge on the pagan path. Surrender
your second charm, and answer me this: 'What distracts you from
your path?'"
<Ritual celebrants start the
answering, and the Second Challenger accepts the offerings. Once
all sacrifices have been offered and accepted, the HPs will begin
leading the Circle past the Challenger and on into processing
around towards the next Challenger. As each participant passes,
the Challenger hands them a jingle bell.>
Third Challenger
Third Challenger: "Greetings,
O Seekers! Knowledge and power you may have. But you must also
learn compassion and determination if you would wield your power.
These things we cannot teach you. You must learn them by the example
of others and by your own mistakes. Yet, we can point the way.
<lights candle> Behold the sacred flame of pure intent,
divine inspiration, and creative passion. <holds candle aloft>
<Ritual celebrants light their
charcoal lighters, hold them aloft, and begin singing breathily
'We are the world, we are the.' - only to be cut off by Lord Buff,
doing the 'Stop that! Stop that!'-type routine, like the Yorkshire
king from the Holy Grail.>
Third Challenger: "Seek the
sacred fire within you."
<Ritual celebrants now break
into the pagan chant "Touching her deep, deep in her center."
- only to be cut off again by Lord Buff.>
Third Challenger: "Nurture
this fire and let it sustain you through life's lessons. As a
symbol of the flame within, surrender your third charm to me and
answer this question: 'What ignites your passion?'"
<Ritual celebrants start the
answering, and the Third Challenger accepts the offerings. Once
all sacrifices have been offered and accepted, the HPs will begin
leading the Circle past the Challenger and on into processing
around towards the next Challenger. As each participant passes,
the Challenger hands them a birthday candle.>
End of Initiation
<This draws inspiration from
the bumbling guards in the Holy Grail, trying to get their orders
right ("No, you stay here, and make sure 'e doesn't leave."
"Right. We're not to leave unless you come to get him."
"No.")>
Lord Buff: "We have faced
our challenges and been granted the tools of our craft. We have
but one last task before us. Each of us must answer one final
question. After splitting into three groups, we will each approach,
one at a time, one of the former Challengers. Each Challenger
will ask the same question of each of us, in private."
Lady Moon: <pompously> "So
each asks a question of the Challengers. Three groups per Challenger."
Ritual Celebrant: "You mean,
we each ask the Challengers a question and then divide into three
groups?"
Lady Moon: "No, no, no. Three
groups of questions."
<etc. etc. etc. Celebrants and HPS carry on ad lib.>
<Meanwhile, Lord Buff starts
tearing out his hair and pantomiming frustration; then he starts
quietly dividing the participants into three groups, and finally
cuts off the HPS & Co., like so:>
Lord Buff: "Thank you! Thank
you! I think we've got it all sorted out now. Thank you! That's
enough." <turns back to three groups> "Is everyone
ready?" <pause for affirmation. Turns back to ritual celebrants>
"Alright. Now it is time for us to be serious, to end our
jester's dance, and prepare ourselves in silence." <brief
pause. Celebrants remove costumes and props> "Approach
the nearest Challenger, one person at a time. After you have given
your answer, return to the circle around the may pole and wait
quietly for the others to finish."
<Lord Buff, the HPS, and (Not-So-)Clueless
Jane will select and guide each individual from the three groups
to the Challengers and ensure that the waiting folks remain quiet
and focused. One of the first three people should be someone picked
before ritual to begin drumming lightly back at the may pole circle
after they have answered the question, 'What makes you pagan?'
If someone does not seem forthcoming with an answer, the Challengers
may try to draw them out, or, if need be, allow them to pass on,
asking them to think on it. LB, HPS, and NSCJ may send folks from
other groups to other Challengers if one Challenger finishes 'early'.>
Cakes and Ale
Or, rather, Cupcakes and Ginger
Ale! ;-)
Deity Devocations
Lord Buff: (Bes) Merry-maker,
guardian, wise child of play, We thank you, Bes, for your gifts,
caring and festive, And for your presence in our revels. With
words and smiles both, we bid you farewell.
Lady Moon: (Hathor) Golden One,
Het-Hert, thank you for bringing us your love, protection, and
laughter. May the lessons learned here - of playfulness and solemnity
- remain ever in our hearts. In gratitude and reverence, we bid
you farewell.
Cardinal Devocations
Center:
Spirits of the Earth and Sky,
we thank you for your gifts of wisdom and your lessons in respect.
'Be here' if you wish - come and go as you will; We bid you farewell.
North:
Spirits of the North, we thank
you For your gifts of change, growth, and stability. 'Be here'.if
you wish - come and go as you will; We bid you farewell.
West:
Spirits of the West, we thank
you For your gifts of understanding, renewal, and wonder. 'Be
here'.if you wish - come and go as you will; We bid you farewell.
South:
Spirits of the South, we thank
you For your gifts of passion, challenge, and transformation.
'Be here'.if you wish - come and go as you will; We bid you farewell.
East:
Spirits of the East, we thank
you For your gifts of inspiration, intelligence, and delight.
'Be here'.if you wish - come and go as you will; We bid you farewell.
End of Ritual
<Lord Buff and the HPS pour
beer and mead into two goblets and hold them up. As the following
is spoken, the beer and mead are poured as libations>
Lord Buff:
