The Woad Song

What's the use of wearing braces
Hats and spats and shoes with laces
Vests and pants you buy in places
Down on Brompton Road?
What's the use of shirts of cotton
Studs that always get forgotten?
These affairs are simply rotten--
Better far is Woad!

Woad's the stuff to show men!
Woad to scare your foemen!
Boil it to a brilliant blue
And rub it on your legs and your abdomen!
Ancient Britons never hit on
Anything as good as Woad to fit on
Neck or knees or where you sit on--
Tailors be you blowed!

Romans came across the Channel
All decked out in tin and flannel
Half a pint of Woad per man'll
Clothe us more than these.
Saxons you may save your stitches
Building beds for bugs in britches
We have Woad to clothe us
Which is not a nest for fleas.

Romans, keep your armor!
Saxons, your pajamas!
Hairy coats were made for goats,
Gorillas, yaks, retriever dogs and llamas!
March on Snowdon with your Woad on
Never mind if you get rained or snowed on
Never need a button sewn on--
Bottoms up to Woad!

(The author is unknown. Sung to the traditional Welsh tune: "Men of Harlech")

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